How We Feel Alternative

You found the word.
Now find what's hiding beneath it.

How We Feel gives you 144 words to name what you feel. QuiLie gives you something to say about why you've been hiding it — and an AI that responds to the truth underneath the word you chose.

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Genuine admiration — this one is special

How We Feel is genuinely exceptional — and rare

How We Feel is the most academically credible, most ethically designed, and most generously offered app in this entire category. Here's an honest account of why it deserves every one of its 4.9 stars.

How We Feel ★★★★★ Nonprofit · Completely Free · Yale-backed

How We Feel is the only app in this category that made us feel genuine admiration. It is a nonprofit. It is completely free — no premium tier, no ads, no in-app purchases. It was founded by Ben Silbermann (co-founder of Pinterest) and Dr. Marc Brackett from Yale's Center for Emotional Intelligence, and it was built not to generate revenue but to improve the emotional health of as many people as possible. When Apple's CEO Tim Cook visited the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, he posed for a photo with the founders. That's the level of credibility this app carries.

The Mood Meter is a genuine scientific achievement. Based on decades of research from the circumplex model of emotion and refined through RULER — the evidence-based approach to social and emotional learning used in over 5,000 schools across 27 countries — the 144-word emotion grid is the most nuanced vocabulary tool ever built into a consumer app. The distinction between "frustrated" and "seething," between "content" and "serene," between "uneasy" and "anxious" — having those words available matters. Naming an emotion precisely is not a small thing. "Sometimes I don't understand what emotion I'm feeling until I look over their large wall of emotions and can get incredibly specific on just what my brain is experiencing" — that's a real, meaningful experience that the app enables.

The regulation strategies are genuinely helpful — evidence-based video tools across four categories: Change Your Thinking (cognitive strategies), Move Your Body (somatic strategies), Be Mindful (mindfulness strategies), and Reach Out (social strategies). These aren't generic wellness content. They're built by therapists and validated by research. And the Friends feature — sharing your emotional state in real time with people you trust — is one of the few features in any wellness app that genuinely serves connection rather than just data.

One adolescent and family therapist wrote: "I have had more success in getting resistant adolescents and families to track their mood with HowWeFeel than anything else. Thank you." That's a clinician endorsement, and it's earned.

But naming what you feel is the beginning of emotional intelligence — not the end of it. And there's a person who has named the emotion, understands its quadrant, knows the strategy for regulating it — and still hasn't said the honest thing about why they keep wearing a mask every day. That person needs QuiLie.


The clearest way to understand the difference

Naming an emotion is the first step.
Understanding why you hide it is the next.

How We Feel gives you the vocabulary. QuiLie gives you the conversation that happens after you find the word — the one where you actually say what's underneath it and hear something honest back.

How We Feel helps you
High Energy · Pleasant
Excited · Elated · Joyful · Cheerful
High Energy · Unpleasant
Anxious · Angry · Frustrated · Fearful
Low Energy · Pleasant
Content · Calm · Serene · Grateful
Low Energy · Unpleasant
Sad · Lonely · Forlorn · Depleted
"I feel... depleted. Low energy, unpleasant. That's the quadrant."
How We Feel gives you A regulation strategy — "Move Your Body" or "Reach Out" — and tracks "depleted" in your pattern data. ✓ This is genuinely useful.
QuiLie takes you here
"I feel depleted. I've felt it every Sunday for three months. I go to work, I perform fine all week, and by Sunday I'm hollow. I don't know why."
QuiLie responds The depletion isn't from the week's work. It's from the week's performance. Five days of being who others need you to be — and no moment of being who you actually are — leaves exactly this kind of hollow. Sunday isn't when the depletion arrives. It's when you finally stop performing long enough to notice it was there all week.
Two stages of the same journey

Both apps care about your emotional life.
They serve different stages of it.

How We Feel and QuiLie are the most compatible pair in this series — they serve sequential stages of emotional growth, not competing ones. Here's what each one believes.

How We Feel believes
Naming your emotion is the foundation of emotional intelligence.
Emotions are neither good nor bad — they are signals to be understood.
Regulation strategies give you tools to navigate difficult emotions.
Sharing emotions with trusted people strengthens relationships.
Patterns in your data, over time, reveal insights about your emotional life.
QuiLie believes
Naming is step one. Understanding why you've been hiding it is step two.
Emotions are signals — and the mask you wear to suppress them is also a signal.
Honesty is the regulation strategy that everything else depends on.
An AI that responds to what you write goes where sharing with friends can't.
The pattern beneath the pattern — why you perform, who you perform for — is what actually changes you.
Where How We Feel reaches its limit

What 144 words can't capture
about the mask you wear every day

How We Feel gives you the most nuanced emotion vocabulary ever built into a consumer app. But vocabulary is the map — not the territory. And some of what's happening inside you doesn't fit inside any quadrant.


What QuiLie does differently

The conversation that happens
after you find the word

You found the word on How We Feel's Mood Meter. Now write the sentence. The one that says why you've been feeling it every week. Your private AI coach reads it — and tells you what's underneath.

AI Reflections — the step after naming

How We Feel gave you the vocabulary. QuiLie gives you the space to use it honestly — and something to respond to what you said. Write one honest sentence about your day. Not a check-in. Not a quadrant. The real thing you've been carrying. Your private AI coach reads it and tells you what it found: the mask, the pattern, the question you haven't asked yourself yet.

From naming to understanding

"Checked in as 'forlorn' on How We Feel for the fourth time this week. It keeps appearing after work calls. I perform fine in the calls. Then immediately feel empty."

QuiLie noticed Forlorn after performing fine — that's the gap between who you are and who you showed up as on the call. The emptiness isn't failure. It's the cost of being someone else for an hour. You keep naming it as "forlorn." But it might more accurately be: the feeling of having spent yourself on a version of you that isn't quite real. How long have the work calls felt like performances?

Truth Moments

Log the specific moments you caught yourself performing — the smile, the agreement, the emotion you hid. The data How We Feel's Mood Meter never had access to. Over time, they become your map of the mask.

Your mask evolves as you do

Your authenticity score rises with every honest moment. Your personal mask — a visual character — literally changes as you grow. Emotional progress that goes past quadrant tracking into actual identity change.

Weekly Personal Letters

Every Sunday, a letter about the week you actually lived — your patterns, blind spots, and growth, written by something that read everything you wrote and noticed the mask underneath the mood word you kept choosing.

Partner Mode

Invite one person you trust. Share a daily intention. Build a shared streak. The private step between How We Feel's Friends feature and the full honesty that comes when you've already been honest with yourself first.


Side by side

QuiLie vs How We Feel — honest comparison

Two apps built on genuine care for emotional health. Two different stages of the same journey.

What you get How We Feel QuiLie
Price Completely free — nonprofit, no ads From $2.99/wk · 3-day free trial, no card
Emotion vocabulary 144 words across 4 quadrants — best in class Free-text — say exactly what you feel in your own words
AI reads your specific writing and responds Optional Reflect feature — quadrant-level, not content-level Every entry — AI responds to your specific words
Scientific credibility Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence — exceptional Built on honesty and self-reflection principles
Regulation strategies Evidence-based video tools — 4 categories AI insight addresses the root, not the symptom
Friends / social sharing Real-time emotional sharing with trusted people Partner Mode — one trusted person, shared streak
Mask-layer awareness Not the focus — tracks emotions as reported The entire point — finds what's under the emotion you chose
Weekly personal summary Mood patterns and emotion frequency trends A personal letter about your actual week
Privacy On-device by default, opt-in anonymized research Encrypted, private by design
Platform iOS and Android iOS, Android, and Web
Best for Building emotion vocabulary and regulation skills Understanding why you suppress the emotion you just named
Who QuiLie is for

The How We Feel users
ready for what comes next

These aren't How We Feel failures. They're people who built emotional vocabulary with the Mood Meter — and now need somewhere to use it honestly, and get something honest back.

The vocabulary-builder who wants depth

How We Feel taught you the difference between "forlorn" and "melancholy." Now you want somewhere to write about why you keep landing in that quadrant — and have something respond to what you say, not just log it.

The pattern-spotter who needs answers

You've tracked your emotions for months. You see the pattern — "depleted" after work, "anxious" on Sundays. How We Feel showed you the shape. QuiLie helps you understand what's causing it and why the mask is the real driver.

The mask-wearer who's almost ready

You use How We Feel's Friends feature to share your emotional state. But the thing underneath — the mask, the performance, the version of yourself you show every day — that's not ready for friends yet. QuiLie is the private step before that.

You found the word.
Now say the real thing.

Three days free. No card. Write the sentence that goes underneath the quadrant you keep landing in — and hear something honest back.

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